INTRODUCTION

  20 years ago I never would have thought I would be a Combat Veteran, running and driving through city and village streets in Iraq. Like you see in the shows, and movies we watched.  Idolizing these Hollywood soldiers as the stand out in the open barking orders while bullets fly everywhere, and  then there is always one solder that gets hit and the medic runs up to treat him, but he jumps up and says “I’m ok!” grabs his weapon and runs off screen.  To me this always seems to give war a glamorous look.  Not realizing when a piece of lead shot out of a gun penetrates the human body, odds are that person is not going to be doing too much jumping up. When the truth is they are most likely going to be too busy wailing in agony, throwing up, or losing control of bodily functions. 

  As a child I remember seeing men in filthy old fatigues holding up signs, “Vietnam Vet- will work for food”,  and watching my dad dig through his wallet for a couple of bucks, or him rushing to the house telling my mom to grab any extra food we may have.  My parents would pack the food; and my dad rushing right back out the door and bring the food to this person holding a sign. Not knowing him, or their story, so I thought there is a bond that combat veterans have. I never had the opportunity to speak to my dad about his combat tour in Korean. The only other family member I have is my cousin who served in Vietnam, and when I returned for there we were able to connect.

and talk a little about his time in combat. And we have people sitting there not wanting to understand how this person came to that spot in their life,  never having any Idea what these veterans, what us veterans have endured in combat.

  Not knowing of the nightmares that some endure, reliving the worst of what they have endured in combat night after night. Finding ourselves uneasy in crowed areas, always seem to be searching or waiting for something to happen it in a crowed. Most of the time I do not realize I’m doing it until my wife takes my hand and asks me if I’m all right, bring me back from where I was.

I’m writing this book for two reasons, first as a therapeutic way to help me deal and understand my personal issues that I’m presently going through.  And second to show the reader how some people end up holding signs. You must also understand that everyone is different. It is my belief it is unique to an individual how they react coming home from combat. And for me it is the battles of home that are the hardest to fight.